Sunday, February 27, 2011

Six Sentence Sunday - #2

Six Sentence Sunday is a blog ring (no, not a chain letter - remember those?) founded and kept up by the Six Sentence Sunday blogger. Check it out, and visit the other participants!

This is the first paragraph of my YA magical realism short story from a YAFF Muse called ANOTHER TURN. You can see the full post here.

I thought I tucked the insult safe inside my mouth. Still, on exhale the words escaped, the last slipping past my lips before I could catch my breath. Three syllables hung in the air, they snapped and crackled with all the anger and pain that had propelled them forward. I hate you. I wanted to take it back, but pride isn’t pretty. Instead I allowed them to gain substance in the silence and walked away.

Thanks for stopping by and I hope you enjoyed it.
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38 comments:

  1. Rebecca RoyceFebruary 27, 2011 at 6:15 AM

    I love it. I love your excerpt here. "I thought I tucked the insult safe inside my mouth." Beautiful.

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  2. Sarah GrimmFebruary 27, 2011 at 6:50 AM

    Wonderful six, Miranda!

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  3. Elena GrayFebruary 27, 2011 at 6:56 AM

    Hate is such a strong word to use, especially in anger. Perfect way to get that point across!

    cbandy10(at)hotmail(dot)com

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  4. Taryn KincaidFebruary 27, 2011 at 7:01 AM

    Great lines. Love how you expressed her anger and emotion. Wonderful how she tried to grab the words back and blurted them anyway!

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  5. TrishFebruary 27, 2011 at 7:06 AM

    This is great. You do a wonderful job of showing us her pain, anger, and finally regret. Very difficult to do in such a short amount of space. Wonderful job!

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  6. Laura KayeFebruary 27, 2011 at 7:11 AM

    I really liked this. Certainly makes me want to know what happened, to whom the words were spoken. Great hook!

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  7. AnonymousFebruary 27, 2011 at 7:21 AM

    Nicely done six sentences. I'll be back next week!

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  8. Cate MastersFebruary 27, 2011 at 7:45 AM

    Lots of emotion packed into these six. Love magical realism!

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  9. Jayel KayeFebruary 27, 2011 at 7:54 AM

    LOve this six. YOu nailed it

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  10. AnonymousFebruary 27, 2011 at 8:11 AM

    Great piece!

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  11. Krista D. BallFebruary 27, 2011 at 8:25 AM

    Good ones!

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  12. CasiFebruary 27, 2011 at 8:26 AM

    That was an awesome six. It just feels so heavy. I can almost see the words dropping and making a thud as they hit the ground. (It's too many comic books).

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  13. Chrystalla ThomaFebruary 27, 2011 at 8:26 AM

    Very well described - great job!

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  14. UnknownFebruary 27, 2011 at 8:29 AM

    U hit a sixer there !! loved the line !! well described and emotions ;)

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  15. Tishia MackeyFebruary 27, 2011 at 8:49 AM

    Wow, powerful sentences! I love the emotion!

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  16. D CarneyFebruary 27, 2011 at 9:19 AM

    So powerful! I loved this!

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  17. An Open BookFebruary 27, 2011 at 9:53 AM

    I am so addicted to YA books lately- thanks for adding a new genre to SSS

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  18. The Scarf PrincessFebruary 27, 2011 at 9:55 AM

    Very emotional and perfect for the YA genre.

    joderjo402 AT gmail DOT com

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  19. Miranda BuchananFebruary 27, 2011 at 10:21 AM

    Thank you everyone! :) I'm so pleased you like it. FYI I will be getting to everyone's six tonight and tomorrow - I've got to work today. I can't wait to see everyone's contribution!

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  20. Jessica E. SubjectFebruary 27, 2011 at 10:48 AM

    Wow! I love how you showed us so much rather than just having her say those three words and walking away. Great job!

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  21. Pip GreenFebruary 27, 2011 at 11:00 AM

    Wow, those words just slapped me in the face!

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  22. JoAnne KenrickFebruary 27, 2011 at 11:07 AM

    WOW. "Three syllables hung in the air, they snapped and crackled with all the anger and pain that had propelled them forward." WOW nicely put!

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  23. Lauri J OwenFebruary 27, 2011 at 11:13 AM

    Great six. I love the way you animated the comment.

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  24. AnonymousFebruary 27, 2011 at 11:53 AM

    Great excerpt!

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  25. Cathy MFebruary 27, 2011 at 11:57 AM

    Very nice Miranda

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  26. Lex ValentineFebruary 27, 2011 at 12:24 PM

    Very well done!

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  27. AnonymousFebruary 27, 2011 at 1:36 PM

    Very nice! I love the way you describe things.

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  28. LaurelCKrieglerFebruary 27, 2011 at 2:01 PM

    Great descriptions!

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  29. Emily CaleFebruary 27, 2011 at 2:56 PM

    Very nice! There is so much emotion in these sentences.

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  30. lexcadeFebruary 27, 2011 at 3:02 PM

    Wow. That's excellent!

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  31. JoAnnaFebruary 27, 2011 at 3:13 PM

    Very nice!

    beckerjo(at)verizon(dot)net

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  32. Seleste deLaney/Julie PartickaFebruary 27, 2011 at 3:38 PM

    Very nice. I want to know who the comment was directed at and why. Really really good.

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  33. Lynne MurrayFebruary 27, 2011 at 5:16 PM

    Strong six! Hints at the character and suspense in what led to the outburst.

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  34. MisaFebruary 28, 2011 at 4:53 AM

    Oh, that is nicely done! Really, really good.

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  35. AnonymousFebruary 28, 2011 at 7:18 AM

    Letting the words just hang there, wonderful!

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  36. Lucy FelthouseFebruary 28, 2011 at 9:41 AM

    Wow. Powerful. Well done :)

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  37. AnonymousFebruary 28, 2011 at 7:42 PM

    Yikes. Those are not words you want to give substance too. Great snippet!

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  38. AnonymousFebruary 28, 2011 at 9:57 PM

    Loved your excerpt! very well written!

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