Blog Me MAYbe: A New Friend

Today is Wednesday for Blog Me MAYbe. That means that it’s May I tell you something about someone else? day.  I wanted to take the opportunity to tell you about someone I met through Blog Me MAYbe. Eliza Tilton. I randomly clicked on her name and found a total kindred spirit. She’s a writer of YA fiction and a gamer (that’s video games, not like poker, folks)! I couldn’t resist the opportunity to do an interview with her.

Me: Welcome, Eliza. And thank you for doing this. Why don’t you give us the quick and dirty guide to you. You know, what do you write, how long have you been writing, what’s your favorite candy… that kind of thing?

Eliza: I write YA, mainly romance but in different categories. My first real novel, not trunked but put aside, is a YA fantasy. My current WIP is a YA contemporary romance

I’ve been writing forever. I used to write tons of adventures in middle school. In the fifth or sixth grade I completed my first book—a 40page pirate adventure, which I still have.

As far as candy, if I HAD to choose only one… sour patch kids FTW! I once ate a pound of them in high school, in one afternoon. Love those things.

Now excuse me while I raid my son’s Easter basket (you can’t talk about candy with a pregnant chick).

Me: LOL! Congratulations!! Your MS & WIP sound cool. I should probably tell everyone that I was super stoked to find out you play/love video games. There are (at least that I’ve met—shout out to my crit partner, Rebekah Purdy though) very few writer/gamers. So, if you HAD to give your top two favorite YA novels and your top two favorite video games, what would they be?

Eliza: Top two? Hmmmmm.

Me: Should I go top five?

Eliza: I don’t know which is harder, the games or books! Yes, FIVE! I can do five.

Me: Okay, Five it is.

Eliza: For five YA books:

The Iron King by Julie Kagawa

Divergent by Veronica Roth

The Sky is Everywhere by Jandy Nelson

Go Ask Alice by Beatrice Sparks (previously as “Anonymous”)

Legend of the Emerald Rose by Linda Wichman

Games, this is tough. I think I’ll pick one from each console.

PC: Baldur’s Gate II

PS1: Final Fantasy

Nintendo 64: Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time

PS2…. I’m going blank on PS2! LOL One minute…

Me: LOL No worries. I can’t even remember a PS2 game. Though I do have to give a shout out for Phantasy Star Online for the Dreamcast!

Eliza: I still have a Dreamcast.

Me: I totally have a Hello Kitty Dreamcast. I loved that thing.

Eliza: Nice! Since my brain is refusing to work… PS3: Eternal Sonata and Dragon Age II.

Me: Okay. Back to business, here. That’s quite a range for books. It seems like you like a darker bent to you stories. Does that play into your writing in some way?

Eliza: Yes. I’m not into funny, chick-lit type stuff. The Iron King has a bit of humor, but it’s more party banter between characters. All of my writing has some kind of dark element, whether it is in a villain or a twisted teenager boy.

Me: Oooh. Twisted teenager boy. That sounds interesting.

For games, I have to ask. Did you like Dragon Age II more than Dragon Age: Origins?

Eliza: YES. There were a lot of great things about Dragon Age, but a few things that dropped the rating: The Deep Roads, the choice with Morrigan at the end and the fact you didn’t get to experience all the results of choices you made throughout the games.

Dragon Age II: I’m on my third play through.

FENRIS

That’s all I need to say. Swoon.

Me: OMG my Hawke is TOTALLY with Fenris. Sigh. He’s the hardest to get. (sorry folks, gamer-talk!) I’m totally (happily) off topic here. On to the next question. So what’s your writing process? Do you belong to a group, or community?

Eliza: I’m a member of YALITCHAT and Query Tracker. Both have been amazingly helpful for different reasons. I met two of my crit partners on query tracker and have had some wonderful help on my queries. YALITCHAT is a great place to meet other bloggers, writers and partake in great contests. They’re having a pitch slam on May 28^th.

My writing process is a little backwards.

Me: Love YALITCHAT. I’d love to hear more about how it’s backwards.

Eliza: An idea comes to me, and it can be either the beginning, middle or end. I try to write a quick query or outline. Then I end up writing chapter one, then chapter fifteen. Stories have always come to me in scenes. For example, my current WIP, I had the end, beginning and part of the middle done. I had about twenty pages I needed to write to get me closer to the ending I wanted and I had no idea how I was going to do that, until I had to. Somehow, I always manage to fit all my scenes together to make one story.

I tried writing a book from start to finish… couldn’t do it. I ended up going back to my old ways.

Me: That’s a super interesting method. It sounds really refreshing. Just write what you see and connect it all when you have to. Do you have any writing pet peeves?

Eliza: I’m not a fan of heavy description. I like fast paced novels. Long blocks of description or emotional thoughts make my eyes glaze over. The only downside, I’m always having to add description back into my novel. Where most people have trouble cutting 90,000 words.

Me: That is SO me too! Too funny. I have to confess that I clicked on your name through Blog Me MAYbe because you have one of my favorite names. What kind of names do you go for with your characters? Do you spend a lot of time finding names or researching them? Or do they just sort of come to you when you think of a character?

Eliza: The only name I ever researched was Avikar: YA fantasy. Every other time, the names just pop in my head. Although, I’ve learned to check them. My next project will be a YA futuristic romance. I wanted to name the MC Damien Walters. Then I googled and realized that was a real person!

Me: Oh yes. I wonder what writers did before google.  Do you write to music or silence, or, since you’re a mom, the sound of playing? (I’m only a dog mom, and I often write to the sound of the two dogs mucking about the living room)

Eliza: Depends on my mood. I spend my lunch hour at work writing. If the scene calls for it, I’ll put on Pandora on my phone and listen. Most of the time, I’m just happy to be able to write and drown out any unwanted sounds if I need to.

Me: That’s cool. So final question(s). Do you find inspiration in life or through other books, movies, games, or a combo of all of that? Are there any big concepts that really ground or theme your writing? Like ethical dilemmas, first loves, etc.?

Eliza: Everywhere. I can leave church with an uplifting feeling and ready to write, or I can sit outside on a nice day, enjoying the breeze and feel the need to express it. Other books do inspire me. If I read a book that emotionally gets to me, it makes me want to write.

Two big themes that ground me are: Forgiveness and redemption. I guess it’s because I’m a Christian and am super thankful that God decided to give me a second chance. I love watching screwed up characters get that too. The villain becoming the hero, etc.

Me: That’s very cool. I love when villains become the hero too! This conversation just speaks to what a huge gift writing can be, in so many ways. It brings people from a wide variety of backgrounds to common ground.

Thank you so much for taking the time to do an interview. I feel like I’ve mad e anew friend!

Eliza: Thanks! You too!

It was a completely enjoyable interview, and if you’d like more Eliza, check out her blog or follow her on twitter at @ElizaTilton.

Blog Me MAYbe: Are you a Panster or a Plotter?

 So welcome to day 2 of Blog Me MAYbe! Wednesday is, May I ask something about you? day.

Especially in the early days of making writing something other than a closeted hobby, I spent a lot of time wondering how things get done. How do people plot entire novels? Personally, I'm 1/2 and 1/2. I start by being a plotter, and eventually become a panster having thrown the original plot out the window about a quarter of the way through.

If you're not sure what the difference is, here's a good explanation from Samhain Publishing.

So... May I ask something about you?

ARE YOU A PANSTER OR A PLOTTER?

A Bond Villain, a New Heart, and a Birthday Card

Kings College Hospital

Late last year, the love of my life almost died. It was a strange course of events that came out of the blue, kept us in a foreign hospital for twenty days, and introduced us to an amazing surgeon who looked a bit like a Bond villain but gave him a new heart.

Nothing, and I mean nothing, can put things in perspective like loss, or the realization of the potential for it. Don't get me wrong. I'm thankful for it.

The Bond Villain Surgeon

I thought that with a new perspective a zest or surge of creativity might come. That my love of writing would transcend into this balls-out mission to do it because life is short, and life is precious.

That. Didn't. Happen.

Which left me to consider: maybe I don't really want it. When I lined up all the things that are really important in my life, was writing still there? For months I wasn't sure. I didn't write a word (outside of work stuff and a sad attempt at revisions) for five months. That's almost half a year. That's the longest I've gone without personal or creative writing in my life.

I fell off the critique partner wagon. I couldn't read my friend's stuff with a critical eye when so much of what I knew or what I thought I knew seemed to be in flux. Writing is hard work. It takes dedication, time, and you must love it.

I didn't think I even missed it.

I was ready to acknowledge that writing didn't make it to the line up. That I must not really have wanted it. How could I if on the other side of crisis, the drive was no longer there? I was almost ready to write my critique group and tell them I was out.

Almost.

But every day as I open my fridge, my hand brushes past a very important birthday card. Probably the greatest birthday card I've ever gotten.

It was a shock, in more ways than one, to even receive the card. Because we'd been gone for so long, the card had gotten lumped in with all the holiday cards and I didn't open them for a while. When I did, I soon realized it was a very unexpected birthday card and inside it said:

I want to see that goddamn 

book on the shelves!

And the other goddamn book!

And the other goddamn book!

I say unexpected, not for the message, but for the sender. Though in retrospect, I shouldn't have been surprised, it was so him. My friend, and literally one of the first two people I trusted to read something of mine, had passed away in June. 

Of course it made me cry when I got it, because it made me miss him. But more importantly it has served as a constant reminder of the amazing and wonderful spirit he brought to this world, and that knowing him is a gift that will last forever. So every time I look at it, I think of him and smile.

The day I was ready to say goodbye to writing the card practically jumped out at me. Okay, it actually did. I knocked it off the fridge as I opened it. When I picked it up it was like he'd reached out to say, "what the hell, lady?" 

Like flashes in a movie montage, I remembered how much joy writing brought me, and how much I loved sharing stories with people. And how having him read them gave me the courage to make it more than a closeted hobby.

That day I wrote 2,500 words.

It's been a long journey from December 9th to now. Filled with all kinds of turns and doubts and love. It took me a while and I needed the help of a very good friend, but writing has once again joined the line up of most important things in my life. I couldn't be more grateful for my life, my husband, and the people who love and encourage me (especially the ones that are not here but never leave). I can only hope to do as much for them.

Faith, huh?

What is it about writers that makes us constant self doubters? Is it some deep psychological malfunction? Are self doubt and creativity mutually exclusive or are they somehow wrapped up in the very fibers of what makes us writers?

I don't think I've met a writer yet (and introduce yourself if you're one of them!) that manages to get through an entire MS, or subsequent edits without a little (or in some cases, a lot) of self doubt. I know I've experienced it. In fact I've experienced it more in these last two months than I have since I started writing seriously two years ago.

My current WIP has a lot of death in it. I started it before I started my new job. Which I love, but if I'm being honest, working in a world where life is such a precious commodity has altered my previous somewhat hardened perspective. Most of you, or at least those of you who have been reading my blog for a while, know I work in public health. And that means a lot of different things to a lot of people and, trust me, the field is expansive. But to lay it all out there, I work with cancer patients. More to the point, I work with cancer patients that are in the prime of their lives -- adolescents and young adults.

These people shouldn't have cancer, right? Cancer only happens to kids and the elderly. False. While I'll save you the PSA, I won't skirt around how working with these amazing survivors has softened and humbled me. It's a change I didn't expect (sneaky change!) and one that I would never give back.

This new me looked at my WIP with fresh eyes and had to wonder, should I keep going? Shouldn't I clip the death? My MC is, in a lot of ways, ruthless and I thought maybe I should abandon her and write something with more of a message, more heart, more... something. But regardless of what I needed more of, I felt I needed less death.

So I did what any logical writer might. I stalled. I stopped writing that story, somewhere around the 50,000 word mark. And there it sat. Staring at me from a little white .doc file on my desktop. I doubted my ability to continue with the story because I couldn't reconcile the new me with the old perspective.

And maybe in the end, I wasn't suppose to. I recently went back through and reread every page of my WIP. And somewhere along that journey with my MC, the new, softer me found a connection with the old. I began to have faith that I could take those newly found emotions for the people I serve and weave them into my MC, creating an even deeper and more developed character than before. It wasn't my perspective that needed changing, it was learning to have faith in myself. Faith that I could take what I've learned in the real world and inject life into my fictional one.

I can't say I'll never doubt myself again. And I can't say that some change down the road won't send me into another tailspin. But what I can say, is that no matter what, I will find a way to keep the faith.

How do you learn to push past the doubt and harness the faith?